I had my reasons for entering Banishment… the main one which I am sure I will blog on eventually. I am missing more and more the contact with friends. My operator visited me yesterday… the first inworld contact I have had in what seems forever. I had to control my overenthusiastic excitement at actually having a few minutes to communicate with someone. The moments I have spent with friends visiting me… reminding me of their love and support… have been wonderful, but no substitute for actually chatting with someone, or feeling their embrace.
It leaves just one… one… thing?... I honestly do not know what to call it anymore… that I can communicate with. My Custodian. It has been acting odd recently, kind of erratic. But the one thing it does continue to do is punish without mercy for protocol violations. Last night before going to bed, I fantasized about running up a series of protocol violations… and the feeling of the anticipation of hearing back from my Custodian with my punishment… evidence that it heard what I said and had a response.
I did not succumb and tallied up no violations during the weekly report. The challenge is keeping that strength… to avoid harming my fate by seeking the only means available to obtain fleeting relief from my isolation.
40 hours down
59 hours to go
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